Trying to make sense of life and to learn living it happily.

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Saturday, July 28, 2012

Deserving Happiness

Sometimes we come across the notion that happiness descents on deserving, good people as part of some supernatural recognition and reward system. That if we are not happy, then maybe we do not deserve it. We have to "earn" happiness somehow, depending of what we believe in.

People who believe in a deity might think that they do not deserve happiness yet, and when they pass some life tests and difficulties held in store for them, they may be finally rewarded with good and happy life...

Believers in fate may think that they are just not lucky, and decide to muddle through and just wait for the luck to change and then be happy...

Those who believe in karma, in paying for some digressions from past lives may feel resigned about the current one, thinking "what can I do when my karma is already set? I just have to bare it. If I do everything correctly, I may be happier in my next life."...

If we believe that our happiness depends on something else happening, or some deity, spirit or fate bestowing it on us, then we are left hostages of outside circumstances, waiting desperately and without any control of where and when this miracle will happen to us. 

This feeling of not being good enough to deserve being happy may inflict internal mental discomfort, dejection, self-depreciation, depression and guilt. 

I strongly believe that feeling good does not have anything to do with deserving it, with societal or supernatural approval. Our happiness is not at mercy of incomprehensible forces. We can and have to learn to be happy - this ability depends entirely  on ourselves. The secret is in our attitude towards life.

If we tell ourselves that we do not deserve happiness, if we doubt ourselves, then we are the ones who preclude it, who make it harder to feel happy. We dig a bigger hole feeling bad about feeling bad.

Making ourselves happy and teaching our kids how to be happy is possible, it is doable!

We are not helpless in this area of our lives! 

The process of becoming happy can be enjoyable and very liberating! Once we know it is inside us, we do not depend on anything anymore. The world of happiness is our to master!

Image by jitterbug09x


  1. Belief in the supernatural is an evolutionary adaptation inhereted from our hunter-gatherer ancestors, and therefore is hard to eradicate. Perhaps a more specific approach needs to be outlined in order for us to reach our full potential as human beings.

    1. "Put your trust in God but keep your powder dry". If we sit and wait for someone to bestow happiness on us or for something to happen to cause our happiness, we can wait for a very long time.
      One should not interfere with the other. The belief in supernatural is not a hindrance to working on our outlook toward life, as long as we know that whatever happens, we are the ones that choose how to react to it. We are the ones with the power to make ourselves happy!