Deserving Happiness

Sometimes we come across the notion that happiness descents on deserving, good people as part of some supernatural recognition and reward system. That if we are not happy, then maybe we do not deserve it. We have to "earn" happiness somehow, depending of what we believe in.

People who believe in a deity might think that they do not deserve happiness yet, and when they pass some life tests and difficulties held in store for them, they may be finally rewarded with good and happy life...

Believers in fate may think that they are just not lucky, and decide to muddle through and just wait for the luck to change and then be happy...

Those who believe in karma, in paying for some digressions from past lives may feel resigned about the current one, thinking "what can I do when my karma is already set? I just have to bare it. If I do everything correctly, I may be happier in my next life."...

If we believe that our happiness depends on something else happening, or some deity, spirit or fate bestowing it on us, then we are left hostages of outside circumstances, waiting desperately and without any control of where and when this miracle will happen to us. 

This feeling of not being good enough to deserve being happy may inflict internal mental discomfort, dejection, self-depreciation, depression and guilt. 

I strongly believe that feeling good does not have anything to do with deserving it, with societal or supernatural approval. Our happiness is not at mercy of incomprehensible forces. We can and have to learn to be happy - this ability depends entirely  on ourselves. The secret is in our attitude towards life.

If we tell ourselves that we do not deserve happiness, if we doubt ourselves, then we are the ones who preclude it, who make it harder to feel happy. We dig a bigger hole feeling bad about feeling bad.

Making ourselves happy and teaching our kids how to be happy is possible, it is doable!

We are not helpless in this area of our lives! 

The process of becoming happy can be enjoyable and very liberating! Once we know it is inside us, we do not depend on anything anymore. The world of happiness is our to master!

Image by jitterbug09x

Memento Mori

art by ichigokonkon

“Memento Mori” is Latin for “remember of death”. We will not live on this earth forever. A sad truth, but one necessary to remember in order to savor the life.

A friend told me once that the time passes inevitably and at the same rate regardless of what we fill it with. One can be active, work, produce, create, achieve something, and a day will pass away. Or one can sit, gaze out of the window and do nothing for twelve hours, and the same day will inevitably pass away and vanish.  She meant it as a guide for choosing to live an active life. But this principle is even more important to remember for living a happy life: you can spend 12 hours being unhappy, and the day will pass, or you can choose to be happy, and the same day will pass.

As days pass one after another, so do our lives. Paraphrasing Ostrovskiy in “How The Steel Was Tempered”, our life is given to us once only. We better live it so that when we look back on it, we do not regret the years that went by while we were feeling angry, unsatisfied, stressed and depressed. To be happy is to feel content with the live already behind us, looking forward to the good things ahead of us, and being calm about its inevitable ending.

art by Raingarden

We better enjoy our life and be happy while it happens.

Memento Mori.